Some time in the past, I came to grips with a concept I heard someone else talking about. (I would tell you who, but I’ve slept since then and cannot remember.) Their point was that every decision is a tradeoff. Basically, if you choose to do “A,” then you won’t have time to do “B” or “C.” They explained this is not a bad concept, but it does mean we need to make our choices wisely. What is the “A” that you really want to do, buy, or be?
As I grasped this concept, I had to learn to be realistic and honest with myself about what matters. We all reach an age where we recognize we can’t actually do everything, and we also reach a point where we realize we don’t need everything we want. Changing careers gave me time to slow down and explore this idea. It made me ask what was most important to me presently and in the future. It made me ask what I was working toward. I had to decide what I was truly looking for in a career, and how much effort I was willing to put into that career. As a Christian, I also had to ask myself where my faith in God fit into my career and how I should express it.
I began to have some very honest conversations with myself…sometimes literally but when no one else could hear. I just reason best out loud. I had to decide what was worth my time and what wasn’t. I had to decide what my interests really were. I had to decide what office situation I could work in, and I had to decide whether my family or my career came first. It was difficult because I had to trim away some of the things I had hoped to do, but as I made decisions it also simplified what I was working toward. This gave me more time to focus on what mattered.
(Just as a sidenote, this is not a time to beat up on yourself. Don’t feel ashamed because you didn’t become what others thought you would. Don’t call yourself a failure because you thought you would be something else by this point in life. This is simply a time to figure out what actually matters to you and make your career fit into it instead of trying to make your life fit into your career. At least, this is where I found myself. I was tired of working away at a career which no longer had my passion, and I felt like my life was slipping by uselessly. I was living the “wake-work-sleep-die” career, and something had to change.)
Think of the “realistic but honest” process like decluttering. I’ve been working through physical items at home and disposing of things which no longer hold my interest. This is the kind of thing you will do when you have a realistic and honest conversation with yourself about your career. You will begin to trim away things that don’t matter until you are down to what does matter, and you will recognize hard facts you have to address.
After my phase of soul (and career) searching, I realized family is central to my life, writing is my dream career, and faith is an important part of who I am. This was the honest part of the conversation. Now for the realistic part of the conversation. I recognized the bills still must be paid, an adjustable schedule is valuable, and the learning curve is big. Now, I can develop a plan and work toward it, and I adjust the plan as needed.
If you find yourself at a career crossroads, you may be wondering where to start. I still highly recommend reading What Color Is Your Parachute? by Richard Bolles to find a starting point. His book really helped me narrow down what mattered in a career, what I could tolerate, what I should eliminate, and how much work it would take to get there. I’m officially in a “making it happen” phase, but I went through the steps to reach this point. Consider these things as you make your decisions. Be honest about what you want and expect, and be realistic about what it will take. The changes won’t happen overnight, and there will be a lot of work involved. Are you patient enough to wait? Are you willing to do the work? You can answer those questions by being honest and realistic with yourself so find your starting point and begin.
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Inspirational Verse for the Day:
The one who lives with integrity lives securely, but whoever perverts his ways will be found out. (Proverbs 10:9, CSB)
All Things Subject to Change 