As I go back and review my old blog posts, it feels like reviewing pieces of my life in the written word. It’s also a bit intimidating because I keep wondering what I’m going to come across. After all, I wrote these posts several years ago, and I don’t remember what I was thinking then. Sometimes I don’t remember what I was doing a handful of years ago. Being in my early 40s (and rapidly approaching the mid-40s), I don’t always remember what I ate yesterday much less what emotional hot mess I was five to seven years ago. Here is the good thing about this: I don’t expect other people to remember things from then either. As a matter of fact, I am amazed when other people remember that far back with any clear recollection.
As a history student, I hated trying to memorize dates of events so, while I laugh at people when they get dates completely off target, I also understand why they don’t remember them. I don’t remember them either so many of us are in the same boat. I finally had a history professor in college who said something like he didn’t care if we remembered the dates so much as he wanted us to remember the eras and the importance of the events in the context of history. At the time, I didn’t understand his perspective because, for years, teachers had hammered the concept of specific dates being vital. I finally came to understand what my professor meant. There’s no point in remembering a specific date if you don’t understand the long-term impact of the event that a date represents.
Reading through my old posts is like digging up a time capsule of my life. I remember the long term affects of the time, but I don’t always feel like examining the events in minute detail especially when it hurts. The original time I started this blog was a stressful phase, and I was coming off a stressful string of years with family illness. Originally, this blog was a place I came to unload in anonymity. I still want to help others learn from my experiences even if it’s just to see themselves in a particular post and know that someone understands how they feel. However, I want to be certain I’m not telling someone else’s story for them. I’m reviewing my posts to be sure I’m only telling the story from my perspective. That means I’m simply telling one version of the story because it’s impossible to tell the whole story without every perspective.
I began part of that process today by reviewing my very first published post from 2016. I forgot just precisely what I had written, and it was interesting to go back and read what I was thinking as I’m finding myself in a similar situation right now. However, I’m now almost seven years older and more experienced in looking for a new job. Life feels less dramatic, or maybe I’m just tired of the drama and choosing to handle things differently now. Whatever it is, I actually enjoyed going back to read my own thoughts on the changes I was expecting and my reasoning for leaving my old job. I know I made the right decision, and now that I’ve left the library field entirely, it’s interesting to see how long it took me to exit the scene.
If you are getting ready to make a career move, I feel your joy, pain, excitement, dread, fear, and all the other emotions involved because I’ve been there. I’ve walked where you are walking. If you have already made the transition and are bemusedly reading my posts thinking, “You ain’t seen nothing yet.”, then all I can say is that you are absolutely right. Every time I think an experience can’t top a previous one, I’m wrong, and it’s best just to roll with it and know that the bumps are coming so enjoy the ride if you can.
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Inspirational verse for the day:
“My salvation and glory depend on God, my strong rock. My refuge is in God.” Psalm 62:7 (HCSB)
All Things Subject to Change 